Well, I haven't managed to update this blog for a while. Which usually means one of two things: either I am uninspired and run dry (or) my life is outpouring with goodness and grace, convictions and stirrings, to the point where I can't even jot them down fast enough. Luckily, its the latter. My journal is being filled at a ridiculous pace and my time with the Lord is so, so good.
Next week I move back to school early for a position I will be stepping into for this next school year. It is crazy to me how fast this summer has flown by. It has been the weirdest summer yet, that's for sure, definitely not at all what I expected or would have planned out for myself. Yet, in every way it has been perfect. It was what I needed, and I guess what you need isn't always what you originally want, right?
+ I have realized that my life is always overflowing with blessings and grace, it's just a matter of keeping my eyes fixed on the Lord so I am constantly reminded of that. I am thankful for where I am at with the Lord, where my heart stands firm in the goodness of this life, instead of fixating itself on hurts or trials or lies or fears. God is constantly renewing and refreshing my mind and praise the Lord for constant growth and intimacy with Him. Daily I am pressing on to receive and give out this joy that isn't dependent on anything except the Lord. Joy that doesn't fade and doesn't waver. It's a beautiful thing.
+ I have attempted to further grasp the fact that Jesus is KING and that He is enough for me. And I am His daughter, His creation. My existence was formed by the very hands that created the world and the masterpiece of the universe that surrounds me. While I often sit marveled at the beauty of the world, God sits marveled at his children. And I am one of them. Woah. This realization comes often, some times stronger then others, but it doesn't fail to leave me on my knees in awe of my Jesus.
+ I have learned that love is a choice, not a feeling. I always hear that saying, but this summer God really showed me that. Also, grace doesn't make sense. That's why it's grace. If it was earned or deserved it would have another name. To give grace is to give something someone doesn't deserve, and it's HARD, but I am seeing how every time we give grace out our heart becomes more like Jesus, who gives endless grace to us. Those two lessons God has taught me a lot on.
+ I have seen the power of prayer. Point blank. I have never been so tied to Jesus through prayer as I have been the past few months, and it has been beautiful. Hearing from the Lord, not just talking to Him, has been transformational. And the only thing that has separated this summer from my normal life was that I had a plethora of time on my hands and my life wasn't swamped with busyness. This taught me that having a full schedule can be a curse indeed, if we forget the time that we need to spend with Jesus daily. Prayer, worship, time in the Word, and serving cannot transform us if we don't devote ourselves to it.
+ I have consistently longed for and solely been satisfied in the Word. God has reminded me that He is enough. The Word has been nourishment and guidance, in the most needed of ways. I can't even explain in words how many times the Word says the very thing I need to hear. I am so thankful for a God that gives me the gift of the Holy Spirit, His presence and the ability to communicate with Him, a God who gifts me with His ears and His smile, and a God who gifts me with Jesus and the Word of God. I hope I never forget that God gives better gifts then I could ever dream up.
God is just so good to me. Always. I am blown away at this never ending list that continues to expand of what God has taught me just merely being His vessel in my hometown for a few months. At one point I prayed through going back to the place I left my heart in, a whole continent away, and God told me 'not yet.' At one point I prayed through going to work at a summer camp I had always wanted to work at, God said no. It made no sense to deny both those opportunities, but if there is anything I know in life is that God's ways are not mans, and following God is worth it. All of these cool places and unique experiences I could have had this summer, but I someone ended up at home. And it was worth it. Did it make sense to the world? No. Did it make sense to those around me? Not always. But God has purpose beyond my understanding and my grasp, and listening to Him is always worth it.
