I am 21 years old, and it seems that more of my conversations with friends are based around boyfriends and fiances and marriage (and even children), then things that most 21 year olds are concerned with. And I am single, so that changes things. There isn't a guy that I've met that I think is going to fill that place that most girls already have filled in their minds. It's just me. And I'd be lying if I claimed it's always an 'easy' journey. The church body does this thing where when you hit your twenties singleness is more of a negative then it is a positive, it is seen as more of a fault then it is a blessing. (What a lie and deceit that is.) However, because of these thoughts I was (and am) often fed, it is a constant thing I am wrestling with, trying to find my voice admist, and trying to at least redefine in my own life. I am trying to bring truth to a topic that I feel have a lot of lies wrapped around it.
Whether it's said or unsaid, since I found Jesus I have been fed lies, mis-truths, half-truths from the body of Christ. Everything points toward a life being ultimately about getting married and having kids. Girls wrap it in the belief that "God is preparing me to be a wife." I can't count the number of times girls have said that to me.
Call me crazy but every time I hear that line or think about it I cringe.
I think it misses the point.
I don't want to prepare to be a wife, I want to prepare, yearn for, seek, and press on to being a better follower of Jesus Christ, that will in turn equip me all the more to serve my husband, if that is what God has for me. I don't want to make my life more about who I'm with then who I belong to. I don't want to stand before Jesus at the end of my life and realize my life's pursuits were selfish, I wanted a husband and I wanted kids and I wanted the American Dream and I wanted this happy little Christian family. I want to stand before Jesus at the end of my life and realize my pursuits were for Jesus, far above anything He could bless me with. I sought Him. Not myself and my own desires.
Sometimes maybe we truly get caught up thinking we are chasing after Jesus, but we're really just chasing
after a spouse. Sometimes we make our lives more about the unknown that
we cannot plan for then make our lives about what is right before us, what we know is important, and what we know holds the utmost value.
You see, I feel that often we get confused about which alter we are walking towards; the alter that comes with a $10,000 wedding, a legal name change, a white dress, and a husband or the alter that comes with freedom lacking a price, the alter that comes with the guarantee of an inheritance in Heaven, the alter that comes with a cover of grace and forgiveness, and the alter that leads to the feet of a King, Jesus. We may not realize it, I don't realize it some days, but sometimes we quite possibly mistake one for the other.
A husband will not bring me (nor you) the fulfillment, comfort, perfect love, and grace that Jesus does. Ever. And if my life ever becomes more about waiting around or holding back on plans or dreams or passions that God has instilled in me because I am waiting or planning for Mr. Perfect to come along, then I am picking the wrong alter.
There may be a season in a woman's life that consists of God preparing her to be a wife. However, I think to fix our eyes on that is accepting a tiny piece of God's plan when you could have the whole daing thing. God is preparing you constantly to serve Him better, to love Him better, and to love His people better. I read the Word and I find no trace or mention that His plan for your life is merely to get married and have children. He has more. So much more. Don't miss out on all He has because all your eyes are fixed on is something that is either not there, or won't fulfill you in the long run.
If we try and find fulfillment at the wrong alter, we stop short.
True fulfillment is found in Jesus Christ, and in Him alone.
I am convinced of it.
