There is one moment of everyday that I look forward to.
The moment I get home from a long day, desperate for comfort and security and familiarity, longing for peace admist a hectic life and for something that will bring me a little extra joy: the moment I put on my pajamas. If there is any reason I can point to that I am grateful for being a women, it's the thing we all share in common: we look forward to the moment we get home and can take off our makeup and our bra, put our hair up, and put on clothes that speak to comfort more then they speak of trends.
However, there is another moment that I yearn for like no other, that I look forward to and am filled by, in ways that I can't even express in words. The moments of complete surrender, complete worship, complete devotion to Jesus.
The two are more related then you may think.
Tonight I spent quality time with Jesus. You know how coffee dates with a wise person you admire end up making you feel so loved, full of joy, hope, peace, and wisdom? That's how quality time with Jesus makes me feel. I felt like Jesus was as close as the person next to me, close enough to touch, close enough that my singing loudly turned to quiet whispers because He was so near and I knew He heard me loud and clear, even at my quietest. I not only felt Jesus near, I know that He was near. This was my pajama moment before the actual 'pajama moment' even happened.
Quality time worshiping Jesus made me feel uninhibited, unrestricted, that I didn't have to contain or belittle who I am, my joy, my fervor, my enthusiasm, I could sing loudly or whisper softly and dance, I could jump or I could kneel, I could cry tears of joy or tears of longing for more and more of Him. I was free. I felt home. I felt comfort. I felt less concerned with me and more concerned with Him.
The week before finals means the most crazy busy schedule possible. It means non-stop, less rest, less sleep, more work, and a longer to-do list for even after the crazy schedule ends. But this moment with Jesus took all that away, no burdens, no worries, just freedom.
Today was the day that everything kept going wrong and I wondered why the heck bad days are so bad and can't be spread out over good days at all. Like really. There was more things that went wrong then I can count on my fingers, there was changed plans, ruined plans, and frustrations that drove me crazy. However it didn't steal my joy, miraculously enough. And at the end of it all was pajamas and Jesus the entire way through.
Comfort. Familiarity. Vulnerability. Freedom. Open arms.
Even in the worst of moments, I am reminded that I always have Jesus.
And I also have a couple good pairs of pajamas to choose from.
