I think that the hardest battle I have ever faced is the one that has never left me. The battle of my heart speaking things that my mind doesn't want to absorb or agree with. My heart is intimate with Jesus. My mind is often distracted by what makes sense to the world; more specifically, mostly, what makes sense to my parents.
You see, I can dream big all day long, I can wish that I had the guts to live out what's on my heart, but often I push those thoughts aside beside truthfully, perhaps I live my life for my parents a lot more then I'd like to believe. I do what makes sense to the world a lot more then I wish I did. I neglect what the Holy Spirit and my heart tell me, because in my head I got here from my parents, I owe them something. I forget, I am here ultimately because of God. I forget sometimes that my only goal in life is to love God, to know God, and to love people so that they would see Him in me and be driven to do the same. I forget, I forget, I forget... how sad.
Today I am trying to speak truth into the lies I believe. The lie that it's wrong of me to have a crazy life that doesn't make sense to nonbelievers. I think, the humanity in me is scared to have a life that the world scoffs at, I know that our lives as Christians shouldn't make sense to the world, but sometimes the thought of that is bizarre.
Today I am thankful that God has some crazy plan that I shouldn't even attempt to comprehend. God is God. I'll let Him do His job and I'll work on mine: obedience.
Lord, I trust you, where you call me I will go. I am yours.
