WHY I REALIZED LOVING PEOPLE FROM AFAR DOESN'T WORK

1. It's an impossible task. Tell me how a person you haven't talked to since middle school is loving you well (or loving you at all) by not existing in your life. They aren't. Tell me how your mom or dad would be loving you well by not calling you, not caring how you are doing when they see you, and not making an effort in your life. They wouldn't be. Tell me how your neighbor is loving you well by not saying a word to you. They aren't. Love is personal, it is up close. It is hard conversations and raw emotions. It is vulnerability. Love does not leave. Love is not a constant silence- it is joy and the sharing of thoughts, the sharing of bread, it is silence at times but rambunctious laughter and a huge mess of words the next. Love is not what is being chosen when you choose to leave, to not try, to give up, love is not chosen when you think you are opting for 'loving someone from afar.' The two simply do not mesh together.

2. Jesus wouldn't do it. Jesus loved the tax collector by coming right up to him, He loved the leper by touching him, He loved the lost, the broken, the shunned, the people that society hated- He loved them by loving them up close. Even with the threat of being hated by them, of being hurt or turned down, among a whole slew of things that could have gone wrong- Jesus took the risk. He took the risk. He loved up close because it works. Loving people from afar doesn't. Which leads me to my last point:

3. It's a lie. Love is patient, it doesn't flee at the sight of being ridiculed or undermined. Love is selfless, it isn't about making life easier on us or more convenient. Love is relentless, as far as I am concerned if Jesus doesn't stop loving me I have zero reasons to stop trying to love someone else. To love someone well or to even love someone at all, you can't peace out. You stick through the muck, you try and you try and you try. You don't give up because love doesn't.

Tonight these truths were slammed in my face. I had used this excuse as the most "Christian" excuse for not loving someone that is really, really incredibly difficult to love. I wanted the easy route, so this answer was the best one. Love sounded good in theory, but in practice, it was too hard. Wasn't worth the names that this person etched into my heart and all over my broken body with their words, or the screaming, or the taunts or the lies or the ridicule. It wasn't worth the pain that trying to love this person resulted in.

But today it hit me. Love wins. As cliche as it sounds. It's worth it.

It's worth therapy, it's worth seeking my identity in Christ harder because it's harder to see when put up against the lies this person speaks. Love is worth it. I have counted the cost and when it comes down to it, I would rather put myself in the line of fire a thousand times and have someone know the love of Christ through my relentless love despite all costs- then for me to just leave in the name of 'loving them from afar.'

Loving someone from afar just doesn't work. It's a cop out. 

Love that person that it is hard to love, 

because it's worth it.