Point blank: rejection sucks. It sucks when in some ways you reject yourself, you try and prove yourself to be not enough in some way, shape, or form. It sucks when you feel rejected or that you are not enough by your own family. It sucks when you feel rejected in a friendship. And it sucks when you get rejected in a relationship.
Earlier tonight I was driving back from a bachelorette party for two engaged friends, my heart was split in half. Half of my heart screaming 'I want that Lord, I want that so bad' and the other half of my heart breathing a sigh of relief that all those things married people have to worry about I won't have to even think about for God knows how long. But I think that the worst lie that was thrown in my face after talking to God about my desire in a lot of ways to be in their shoes, was the lie that I am not enough and that is why I am not in a relationship, let alone engaged. The thought 'I am not enough' is indeed a lie. And I don't know about you, but it has tormented me in more ways then one. The thought of it alone can bring tears to my eyes because of the hold and power it has had in my life. There has definitely been times where I feel the whole world is just screaming 'Megan you're just not good enough' or 'Megan you're just not smart enough' or 'Megan you're just not pretty enough.' If there is one line that breaks me down and wrecks my heart it is the thought of not being enough. I like to feel worth and value and I like to feel loved and cherished, the thought of not being enough rips that to shreds.
All the irony in the world though is behind me caring about whether or not other people view me as 'enough.' Because #1, I know it is a lie. And #2, I once did a devotional on it that had more people then I can count on my fingers thanking me for speaking something into existence that they truly needed (blew my mind).
It's sad how sometimes our flesh likes to mislead us, away from the truth that our heart knows and into, in many ways, Satan's territory. Tonight I am reminding myself that I am enough because Jesus says so.
No relationship on this Earth, no matter how great it is, can give me the type of reassurance and worth that Jesus gives me. Plain and simple. People opinions, as heavy and burdening as they can sometimes be, actually hold no power. How often do I focus on being enough in the world's eyes and not how I just really desire to be enough in God's eyes. And I am. I am enough in God's eyes because I love him and want His Will, I want to bring glory to His name, I want to bring the Kingdom to this Earth. The petty things don't hold weight like they do on this Earth. If looks or intelligence or being enough for some boy is going to hold weight, then clearly we need to redirect our eyes on what matters to the Lord.
When I set my eyes on the idea that I am not enough, Satan wins. And Satan, you may not win. You are a loser and you will lose in the end anyways.
“Stop determining your worth and value by what other people say. Be determined by what the Word of God says.”
Joyce Meyer
