I know that I am loved today because no matter how great I daydream, it could never compare to here and now. I am realizing everyday more and more that life on Earth is truly ticking away, if I don't squeeze all the joy and thankfulness out of this very moment, out of these hours and this day, I have waisted something that will never be returned to me; today.
Lets be real, to not acknowledge where everyone else around me is at in life would be unrealistic. Pictures of one of my friends' two babies and her husband pop up on Facebook all the time, the fact that I am older then her astonishes me still. It seems that everytime I log onto any social networking site, someone else is in a relationship, engaged, married, pregnant, someone else has traveled somewhere crazy exotic, someone else has done something remarkable and unique in life. My Christmas break consists of wedding planning and dress shopping for my best friend, a bachelorette party for another two friends, and a wedding for my childhood best friend of like ten years. When I sit down with all my girlfriends from home nothing is more obvious then the fact that I am still single and still going to school, while most all girlfriends are in long term relationships, getting excited about marriage in the near future and kids (!) even being mentioned every now and then, woah. Nothing is more obvious then the fact that most of them have jobs upon jobs, while I am just trying to pass school. Most of them are supporting themselves financially, something I dream of but have no time for with my life and schedule right now. There has always been this continual yearning for the future all around me, people talking about plans for things weeks, months, and years from now, while I am just stuck here puzzled.
How to live in the moment, how to be present, when all around you is a world daydreaming about things to come, is hard (to put it lightly). We are taught to plan the future, prepare for the future... we are preparing for the unknown essentially, working toward a goal that we perhaps haven't even established yet. When are we ever taught (or when do we actually believe) that this very second, this very day, is where our heads and out heart should be at? I think that being more present in the now then in the future, is a prerequisite for joy and a zest for life. I think that joy is never more present in anyone then it is in people that genuinely live in the moment and take it one day at a time.
Enjoying the now is underestimated.
Today I was talking with a friend about daydreaming and how deceiving it is. We as girls get lost in the world of 'what ifs,' this land of making lists about what we want in a perfect man and waiting around for him. At some point in our lives, we get lost in a world of planning. We think about our future so much that I question whether sometimes we idolize it. I think that I am beginning to see that one of Satan's greatest tricks is keeping us in this 'daydream land,' where we lose grip of enjoying what God has for us in this very day because we are too concerned with things to come.
Just a thought.
