To put everything you hold highly at the feet of Jesus is no small task.
It is a really really hard task. It is a task that makes me roll my eyes at myself and my own imperfections. Nothing can make me more astonished at how much farther I want to go in my faith, then realizing the things I haven't entirely let go of. The things I still want control of, I still prioritize, I still cling on to.
"You can't have the blessings God has for you
until you let go of the things you have clutching in your hands."
Tonight I sat in a chapel that took everything I didn't know I was feeling and needing to hear and slammed it right in my face. I knew I needed to go to that chapel tonight and even canceled plans because of it. Then I ended up realizing every reason why I was there. Blew my mind.
So, the story of Abraham and his son Isaac is no small feat. Abraham was willing to give up the thing that he held the most dear to him, his son, because he knew that God knew best. He was willing to give up what he valued most, because he counted it all as loss compared to knowing God. Talk about an Old Testament story with huge relevance today. God will grant us more then we could ever imagine, plan, or deserve if we are willing to lay the things we value most at His feet, for Him to take or to leave as He desires.
So tonight, I laid it all down.
All of it.
I opened my hands and my heart broke.
My heart literally hurt.
But I knew it was worth it.
I abandoned my flesh, my humanely instincts and gratification, I gave up what is desirable and understood by this world to gain what is smiled at by God. Because as much as people around me may think I am crazy, I know what has been proven to be true to me. Jesus. And craziness is a small price to pay for serving a great God.
I laid future plans at the feet of Jesus.
I laid a desire for a husband and a family at the feet of Jesus.
I laid the little things I hold dear, the big hopes I have, and even the little hopes I keep.
I laid anything that grips my thoughts and I haven't been entirely able to let go of.
Because if I know anything about anything, it's that it is worth it. He's worth it.
